Some days I'll be driving, and I'm always thinking about Jake. And pictures of how he passed will come into my mind and I will see that demon that was there at that horrible moment and I will think of all the details that people don't want to think of. I have seen a great many terrible things in my life, so the images come to my mind's eye. I push them away with Herculean effort and anger flows in to fill their place. I reflexively strike out at my dash or steering wheel. The desire crush something with my anger is tangible. It is as real as thunder during a storm.
And then it fades away and I am left with that terrible knowledge of what really is and I drive on.