Wednesday, December 1, 2010
We are going to church every Sunday now and that makes me feel really good, and I think it makes my wife happy too. I am working on personal growth and trying to get my mood swings and emotions under control. I am always trying. That and praying is all that I can do. I do not plan on giving up. This is my home, and this is my family. I love them and they are worth whatever effort it takes to get this marriage on track.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
I do know that I pray for a "visit" from my Brother, to see him in dreams, to hear his voice... anything. I get nothing but more sadness. No mystical visits, no comforting dreams. Nothing. Tap tap tap... is this thing on?
And I wonder. Why can I not see him when others do? Why can I not hear him or smile with him in my dreams? Have I done something wrong or am I being punished? I just don't know. It just doesn't make sense. This entire thing is senseless.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
I am going to have to put this thing together on a shoe string budget and will likely need to accumulate building materials. I have broken the materials list into two categories: materials needed to frame the home from the ground up creating a livable structure that will keep the weather off of me while I live there and continue to build. The second list is comprised of materials needed to finish the home off. Things such as toilet, sinks, tub, pvc piping, faucets, electrical wiring and various electrical extras needed to run appliances such as an a/c, refrigerator, small stove, small washing machine, ceiling fan, and 5 plug boxes throughout the small structure.
If I am able to pull this off I will post pictures as I go. This has been my life long dream and sadly, in my dreams my Brother helped me build it and I shared it with someone I would spend the rest of my life with. I guess if it works out and I do get to build it I'll share it with Sunny and Daisy May, who have been my faithful, loyal and trusted friends for the past 11 years.
The first list
List of building materials:
Framing lumber (enough to create a walled and roofed shell with sub floor/floor)
-osb (Oriented strand board, which is far less expensive than plywood) (4x8x3/4) quantity of 78 pieces
-2x8x8 (pressure treated) quantity of 90 pieces
-2x4x8 (pressure treated) quantity of 200 pieces
-FGUR20 ASTM 30 Lb. Felt Quality Roof Deck Protection quantity of 3 rolls
-Black Fiberglass Mineral Surfaced quantity of 6 rolls
-Grip-Rite 2d, 1 In. 5-Lb Electro-Galvanized Roofing Nails quantity of 1 box
-Grip Rite 16d, 3-1/4 In. 30-Lb Bucket Coated Sinker Nails quantity of 60 pounds (two buckets)
-Grip Rite 1-1/4 In. Coarse Drywall Bucket 25 Lb quantity of 50 pounds (two boxes)
-Deck Mate 1 Pound 2-1/2 In. Green Premium Exterior Screws quantity of 5 pounds (five boxes)
-Exterior latex paint, OD (olive drab) quantity of 5 gallons
With lots of prayer, dreaming, hard work, and help from friends I just may be able to make this happen. Stay tuned.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
And then it fades away and I am left with that terrible knowledge of what really is and I drive on.