Yesterday I was at work and I glanced up for a second and I saw my Brother. I was jolted and did a double take and of course it wasn't really him. The person was Jake's height and had his haircut and hair color. My heart was broken all over again.
Last week I was walking up my driveway thinking of Jake and wishing that I could just hug him once more, and I realized that my arms were out in front of me, encircling the empty air.
I pray Dear Lord, give me strength. I know that it is not my place to understand your will. I ask Dear Lord that you give me the strength, that you help me find the strength to accept it. I ask Dear Lord that you have pity on me and that you have mercy on me. I know that you are powerful beyond all measure and that anything you will can and will happen. I know that you can and often do teach us harsh lessons that we think of as cruel. We do not understand these lessons and often our faith in you comes into question. I ask you Dear Lord that you bolster my faith, that you make me like a rock in my faith. I ask that you make me thirsty to know you better and that you compel me to read and learn more about you.
I pray Dear Lord that you drive me to be a better man, to take responsibility for the things in life that are mine to own up to. I ask that you help me find the strength, wisdom, and patience that I need in order to be all the things to all the people in my life who need me, and whom I love. I ask Dear Lord that you compel me to never forget to do more for others than I do for myself. I ask for a servant's heart, Dear Lord. I have been humbled and my world is shaken to its core. I ask that you build me up, Lord. I ask that you guide me to do the right things, and to be a better person and to be the Christian that you wish for me to be.
I ask that you give strength and all the things that I ask for myself to my family as well. I ask that you keep us all close together, and that we never forget how to love each other, and that we always love, honor, and respect each other. I ask to be a better son, a better brother, a better husband, and a better father.
This is my prayer, Lord. I pray these things in the name of Jesus Christ and ask that you hear my prayer.